LOSER PISSED - Comedian Cara Lytwyn's Blog

Are you there God..it's me Sarah Palin's conscience.

2008-10-07T07:21:00.000-07:00

Hello Campers and Drinkers,

You must have forgotten about me, I've neglected my blog, and you and just like Sarah Palin, I've let myself down.

Comedy or 'funny' time - Still producing monthly improv shows with my troupe New Car Smell, our next show is going to be Oct.30 (always the last thursday of the month).
I will be performing Oct.14th at the kingshead for Comedy Loser - sure to be an excellent show as always and I'm really excited to be a part of it. Oct.20th(Monday) I am headling the Red River College Comedy nite, where students of the comedy writing class get to try out their material for the first time. It's where I started stand up and I'm pumped to see these guys go up.

And finally, recently coming to light in the press, is Angelina's admittance that since her and Brad have adopted a small sweat shop (eeeessh that was too far) the two haven't had 'romantic time'. So if you were having a bad day, just remember that Brad Pitt has to jerk off in the shower too. So feel good about yourself again!!

Cheers

Cara

Winnipeg's Funniest Person with a Day Job..is a Woman?!?

2008-08-24T20:19:00.001-07:00

Winning Winnipeg's Funniest Person with a Day Job was an extremely exciting and overwhelming moment for me.
I think more than anything was having so many people whom I admire in the community, Jason Beck, John Duff, Ryan McMahon, Scott Porteous, Janet Shum, Dan Verville, Paul Samborski, Lee White, Steve Sim, Rob Bruneau, Andrew Lizotte, Aaron Merke, ...I could go on giving me their congrats. Hearing people tell me they believed in me, knew I could win etc. That I had worked so hard this year and it shows was surreal. And it made me really look at the work I have done and think..ya I really did.

Sometimes in comedy, we are so worried with not looking like we have an ego, making sure we stay modest and overtly self critical to show we don't think we are funny...even tho ironically if we didn't think we were funny, we wouldn't be on stage.
SO it really is a sick cycle, and sometimes it's OKAY to acknowledge a moment of success and feel good about accomplishing something, feel good about your work.

And so I do, and even though I really was stunned, I also am really happy. I feel truly blessed to everyone I have become friends with in this community, the advice and the guidance I have recieved from many comedians that I very much respect and admire and who I am now proud to call my friends. I think listening to critisms and having fun running material before getting on stage has helped my growth as a performer immensely. I'm so grateful for everyone that has listened to me run 'material' and helped me get past my crippling nervousness.

And as for those who didn't believe a female could win..Guess you bitches were wrong! I am so proud to be the first female to change this contest. Last Comic Standing had the same outcome...one woman amongst a lot of dudes. It certainly has it's challenges...and the numbers are always there. Being the only female performing at the Kingshead is a common weekly experiance. For a lot of reasons I wish this wasn't the case because I know women can be amazing comics...but it is also not so bad...because there can be female comics that make Cathy Comics come to life on stage...*shudder*.

Although it can be something to overcome...I think it was less important on Thursday night. I think it was about being funny...and that felt really good. I had a female comic approach me after the show, she was really excited that I won because "You did so great..and you are a chick..power to that" I also had someone I completely loathe as a person/comic...congratulate me..which was very nice and surprising for someone of such low character. These moments are just icing on the cake...but still it was hard for my inner "high five" not to kick into overdrive.

Thank you to everyone that came out to support...and to those who couldnt be there, but called me right after or sent me lovely messages on facebook.

What happens now? Quitting my job and moving to Vegas..haha or keep writing and pushing myself more to become a better performer and funny...and remember to do my daily affirmations.
If so many amazing people can believe in me...I think it's time I believe in myself.

CDL

Winnipeg

2008-08-24T20:19:00.000-07:00

The Finals

2008-08-21T09:20:00.000-07:00

Well anyone who has been a part of Winnipeg's Funniest Person with a Day Job Contest, knows how much work it is over the summer, having 4- 5 shows..selling tickets, getting psyched up or psyched out..

I'm very honoured and excited to be a part of the finals this year. And I'm also looking forward to the craziness coming to an end.

Last year I kinda choked in the first round, in front of a table of friends and family and the guy I was into - embarrassing for sure. So really when I decided to try again this year - my goal was to do a set I felt proud of. And not to choke on my gin martini.

So I really tried to enjoy all of my performances and got a lot of great advice from many comics I admire in the city. I felt like people believed in me, and supported me.

I'm excited to be a part of tonight, the number of people that are coming out to support overwhelms me. I am happy to be in a great group of performers, and I do wish them all the best of luck. I hope everyone enjoys their 7 minutes tonight.

can't wait.

thanks.

The Lytwyn

2008-07-22T10:44:00.000-07:00

So after seeing the new Batman. I have decided I don't think he should be the only one with 'the' in front of his name. So I am now going by "The Lytwyn". I think it sounds boss. The Dark Knight was amazing. Not much of a comic bookie movie girl. But I found the story quite intricate. What of course made the film was Heath's performance. How he spoke, the laugh, his melted make up and moments created a character that was seriously disturbing but completely captivating. I loved how he would constantly lick the insides of his mouth. You should see his last performance even if it means standing in line with the kinda kids that still haven't showered since Folk Fest.

The Fringe is going well..I mean our reviews aren't amazing but I'm not really affected. I let it get to me last year..until I realized we had full crowds who laughed and enjoyed our show..and that reviews REALLY don't mean anything. I am very excited for tonight's show. Having the people that care about me there, friends, family, and stalkers. I am just trying to enjoy the very few shows we have left (4) because it goes by so fast.

I am also going to try to take in quite a few shows this weekend. It is really the only time I have and I wanna make the most of it.

Next week I am performing at Alfie's comedy club on Wednesday (30th) and then I will head to Rumor's to cheer on my friend Dan in the wildcard round of the contest. (Stalkers take note).

I still can't believe I am going to the finals for Winnipeg's Funniest Person with a Day Job. I just wanted to have one good round, to feel like I worked hard this year and I performed what I believe to be funny. To be true to myself and also confident on stage. Something I struggle with. It feels really surreal to be going onto the finals, I am in constant search of validation, and this summer I have had a few moments where I feel like comedy is where I should be. Friends and family have been so unreal through both rounds - I feel very blessed. And I'm getting my game face on for the Finals. It's so on!

Headed to England August 1st (that's 10 sleeps). It's a trip I have been dreaming about taking since I was about 14..so 10 years later it is actually happening.
I can't wait to take in the sights and catch up with old friends, that I haven't seen in almost 3 years. It feels so fast and crazy - but I know it's going to be a fierce time.

Peace.

CDL

World's Worst Boyfriend

2008-07-07T09:48:00.000-07:00

This is so true and quite sad when we rotate our social lives or our happiness around a man.

Excerpt from 'The World's Worst Boyfriends' by Wendy WassersteinShare

Some general rules apply here. First of all, the worst boyfriends are not, on the surface, the meanest boyfriends. Most girls don't meet Bluebeard on a first date and think, 'sure, he's a little nasty and a little sly, but he's really furry, fuzzy, and cute' . Mean is simple. It's the more complicated stuff that's hazy.
There are very nice men who will happily spend twenty years taking you out to dinner twice a week, to the seashore on summer weekends, and on annual fall leaf-peeping tours of New England, yet when you timidly bring up 'moving forward', they explain that they are just beginning to make real progress in therapy, you need to be patient and give them some more time, they really love you but there are a few things they need to work out still. Think of the head cold sweet Nathan Detroit gave to Adelaide in Guys and Dolls . She had a permanent case of " La Grippe" from getting off the train to Niagara fourteen times.
What distinguishes the contestants in the W.B.E. ( Worst Boyfriends Ever) Olympics is their ability to wreak emotional havoc. Where once there was calm, now there is constant tumult and turmoil. Today is Tuesday - that means he likes me. Tuesday is our good day. Especially if I haven't seen him since Saturday. I wonder if I'll ever get to see him on Wednesday. I guess I ought to prepare. I'll cancel the doctor, the ballet, and the drink with that third available man from the survey. I have to keep my nights open. Just in case.
Another distinguishing trait of worst boyfriends is their ' Dear Occupant' behaviour. In other words, they don't do anything as obvious as raise their voices. They don't stamp their feet or throw toast. They simply decide that you have ceased to exist ( poof! no more! all gone!). Fear of intimacy is understandable; being treated like junk mail is insufferable.
Triangles. Ask a worst boyfriend and he'll admit that the triangle is his favorite configuration. There's safety and torture in isosceles. A triangle means there's always another angle who's less threatening ( or more threatening), prettier and smarter ( or less pretty and less smart). Contrary to popular belief and geometric theory, it's easier to deal with hexagonists. Then you're just 'e pluribus unum' - one out of many. Which is to say, he's clearly a philanderer and you're maybe long-suffering but otherwise clearly perfect.
The worse the boyfriend, the more stunning your American Express bill. Since the worst boyfriends have keen and critical eyes, you have to shine for them, dress for them, coif for them, and in California, liposuct for them. And there's nothing like primping for an ininterested party. Consider the case of the wretched Mathilde in Stendhal's The Red and the Black. She had her daddy, the marquis, offer her beloved Julien a fortune and a title just so he'd like her a little bit. No dice - he still preferred Madame de Renal. But, of course, Mathilde was an extremist. She buried the head of her worst boyfriend.
Obviously, the worst boyfriends, like Julien, can cause disastrous side effects. Low self-esteem, low energy, low humor, in fact low everything except calorie intake are standard symptoms of a W.B.E. relationship. And it spirals. " Oh God, will all my boyfriends be worst boyfriends? Do I do something that attracts the worst boyfriends? Do they give one another my number?" Finally there's the ultimate self-recrimination: "If I were really good, I wouldn't have a worst boyfriend."
Forget it! The point is, it's not our fault. It's theirs. They've been this way for centuries. Worst boyfriends are not a new phenomenon. Six healthy gals in a row all thought they could change Henry VIII. ( Henry, by the way, is only a semifinalist in the W.B.E. Olympics. He has points deducted for [1] actually marrying the ladies and [2] being happy for a time.)

SUPER STRESSED..now available in your cereal boxes and Happy Meals.

2008-07-07T08:05:00.000-07:00

Warning: Self-Indulgent Whining Ahead.

I am definately excited that so much is going on right now as far as comedy and performing. But at the same time I have pretty bad nerves (thanks Dad) and my stress levels are on the rise. I know it is July 7th, but I kinda can't wait for August.

The Fringe is less than two weeks away and I'm so nervous. I feel like I haven't been an 'actor' in an extremely long time. I hope I can pull it off. I really like my character and I like how she has evolved into something completely different. My Mom caught me sitting like a dude yesterday, legs wide apart so I have room for 'my junk' and I couldn't help but laugh. Josie's presence is sneaking into my 'everyday' lately and I think that is a good sign.

I really like the play and I want us all to feel really ready for opening night (Friday, July 18). With such a great venue and a super solid cast - we have great potential. I think I'm more excited than nervous - but the combination equals very little sleep lately.
Mom isn't sick of running lines yet, thankfully.

Wednesday Night is the Semi-Finals at Rumors. I'm freaked out cause I wasn't expecting to make it to another round. I'm going to practice around play rehearsal and my heart is definately in my performance - knowing I have people there who believe in me means so much. Helps me remember to breathe.

Twice a week I am meeting my improv troupe to rehearse and plan out our production ideas. I really like this group of guys on many levels outside of performance - which is awesome. I love their work and I am honoured to be asked to be a part of it. I am excited for whatever may come out of this project.

Going to a Cabin with friends in Gimli this weekend was amazing. It felt great to be disconnected from the world. No cell phone service, no facebook. Just sunshine, suduko, swimming, cold beers and good conversation. Coming back is difficult. Everything is waiting for you when you return.

Okay enough complaining about mundane shit...I'm sure there is something I should be working on.

Letter to the Editor (Free Press) RE: Canad Inns to build water park

2008-07-02T22:25:00.000-07:00

The City’s decision to use money from the rejected Rapid Transit plan to build a water park is a complete slap in the face to Winnipeg. Rapid Transit would have vastly improved commuting for Winnipeg Bus Riders and increased the number of people on the bus, thus decreasing gas emissions.

"I want to see this water park in my lifetime. It think it's time our children had that opportunity," said the mayor.”

Sam Katz wants ‘our’ children to have the opportunity to have a pool? Well that’s fantastic.
I want ‘our’ children to have the opportunity of living without global warming and a rapidly depreciating planet.

The mayor found it embarrassing a city the size of Winnipeg does not have a major indoor water park. What’s embarrassing is having a mayor whose priorities are completely askew.

This is money that could be used for educational programs or food and shelter for our homeless. This money could have been used in a lot of ways, that could have truly improved lives and given people a chance to start over.....but a pool..well hey that's pretty amazing too.

Dude, looks like Comedian.

2008-06-25T13:22:00.000-07:00

An interesting conversation developed after Comedy Loser last night, downstairs at the infamous comedians roundtable discussion. I took away some pretty powerful thoughts about my voice and my very existance as a performer.

I constantly categorize female comedians or at least the material as I see it to be very female and very hack. I constantly try to write material that isn't about my period, or not being able to 'find a man' and instead owning a large amount of cats.

I guess I just hate to remind the audience that I am a female comic, because of the constant struggle against 'she's funny, for a woman'.

I have become so enraptured with the concept of being labelled a 'female comic' instead of just a comic, that I have actually started to deny one very important fact - I'm a woman. It's true I have the 'junk' that makes me a female - AND denying the fact that I am a woman on stage or any time in my life is denying who I am.
It doesn't mean I have to write ALL material about being a girl, BUT it is a unique part of my voice I can not ignore.

Denying the female voice inside of me just enables those ignorant assholes who DO see female comics as unfunny. I am sort of admitting this is true by trying to downplay that I am a woman. Instead I just think "don't look at my tits..just listen, close your eyes and pretend its a guy if you have to".

So from now on I will no longer ignore the parts of my identity. Instead I will start to embrace them and use them for inspiration.

Edmonton was fierce. It was awesome to get out of the city for a few days and hang out with the same people I do in Winnipeg. haha, but it was fun. I was so excited to go to Improvaganza and watch Pat and Peter (Good Morning World) do amazing improv.
I was pretty star struck when I got to talk to them, I just started rambling about my stand up comedy and somehow ended up saying that Good Morning World on the comedy network gargles my balls compared to what they did with their daily online version.
FOOT meet MOUTH.

Whtye Ave. was so dumb. I was there for about 15 minutes and it was too long. Loud obnoxious assholes everywhere. The smash of beer bottles, people dry humping in an alley. I'm so glad I have no desire to be a part of that garbage. My weekends might be kinda quiet and my idea of a good time is a bottle of wine and good conversation -but I'm glad I have outgrown the Flin Flon 'Sharla' side of myself quickly, before it transformed into some of that bullshit I witnessed.

Comedy Season is winding down. I am looking forward to some chill time, some time to write, hang with friends, get ready for the Fringe and breathe.

Sad to hear of George Carlin Passing. Although he has an insane amount of funny quotes. My favourite that always stays in the back of my head:

"There are two types of Comedians. There are the ones who try to relate to the audience and there are the ones who the audience tries to relate to."

Carpe Omnious.

CDL

Chaos, Clocks, and Watermelons.

2008-06-15T14:59:00.000-07:00

I had a dream last nite that i had a three way with Jason Bateman and Kyle Cease. It was fucking good...and hilarious. It was also much less creepy than my regular sex dreams with Tom Hanks.

I performed last night at the Charley. It was kinda strange being in that room again. It reminded me of when I first started doing Standup. A lot has changed.

Lately I'm really feeling the support from my comedy community. Which is humbling because a lot of my friends are also my mentors. Lately I have heard how much I have grown as a performer this year. How drastic it has been and how comfortable and relaxed I am getting onstage. I think Improv has certainly contributed to that. And I think I have really concentrated on breathing more. Having fun on stage, taking more risks, trying new shit, and being less afraid of not getting a laugh.

I've worked hard on getting over my paralyzing trepidation. Why? Because my heart is in comedy, my heart is in performing. It's what I love. And I refuse to let my fears and hereditary anxieties prevail, and prevent me from doing what I love. Fear can suck my dick.

Going to Edmonton this weekend - and I'm really looking forward to it. I hope to take in some comedy and some R&R. Usually my 'trips' are to Flin Flon. So it will be nice to NOT go to Flin Flon. Improvaganza is goin on-so should be excellent.
And there are several comics/friends of mine who will be in the city for work-should be fierce.

Carpe Omnious

CDL

Banana Milk is Evil

2008-06-11T08:35:00.001-07:00

For the record, whoever thought adding banana flavour to milk was a good idea - was a moron. This is the same guy who probably uses the instructions that come with Band-Aids and likes to go to movies like White Chicks and Rush Hour.

I had a lot of fun at the stand up show down last night. Even with a small crowd - I enjoyed what I did and felt strong about my performance. For the first time in a long time I didn't have that crippling nervousness beforehand. I just tried to remember to breathe and have fun. If I feel like some of what I say connects with even one person - that's all I could ever ask for.

I'm starting to get psyched for the Fringe. With our dates/times/venue finalized, it finally feels real. Being able to perform at the MTC Warehouse is both a blessing and a curse for our show. It's big..and it's big! Promotion is going to have to get crazier than my old man playing Monopoly. But overall, I feel very excited to have such a great space.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper will be addressing the victims of Residential Schools in a few hours. For some people, it will be the most emotional moments of their lives. I hope our PM speaks from his heart and not from his speech writers, not from a stand point of 'having to do this'.
Imagining those gathered in Ottawa, and thousands of other survivors gathered with friends and family in their communities to watch together seems so surreal, it overwhelms me.
I wish them strength and a chance to heal.

thanks

CDL

Pink Moon

2008-06-05T19:47:00.000-07:00

This is a beautiful church in Barnburgh, a tiny village just outside of Doncaster- where I will be staying when I travel to the UK, hopefully in August. I can't wait to see new places and visit old friends.

Last night, they took only 2 comedians from Canada to be semi finalists in Last Comic Standing. 2. as in two. From the entire neighbouring country of Canada. But they take 8 fucking assholes from North Dakota. Fuck that show.

I continually have this anal pattern of writing notes to myself. It's constant and annoying. I feel like I am going to forget, at age 24 I don't trust myself to remember. I write on post its, in notebooks, in tiny notebooks I carry in my purse. I write with whiteboard markers all over my mirror, I write on macbook desktop post its. I write on my hands...it's so dumb.

I need a haircut..fucking badly.

Comedy Break, isn't really turning into much of a break at all. It's like waxing my eyebrows. It's hard for me to leave it alone....until eventually I look like ALF.
I'm doing the standup show down with Matt Cohen on Tuesday, then I am doing Keener's late nite Cavern show on Thursday.
I signed up for an Improv workshop on Saturday, then Monday (16th) is the Charley with Jason Beck and then the Kingshead Shitz and Gigglz show with John B. Duff.
July 9th is the next round for Rumor's contest..

sooo not really a comedy break..as much as a comedy fest! Play rehearsals are underway as well. The Fringe is creeping up like a dirty old man named Jonesy.

wow this blog sucks.

I'm sorry...never again. please don't break up with me.

thanks.

CDL

Popped My Improv Cherry...and it wasn't at Prom..it was in Shop Class!

2008-06-02T21:00:00.000-07:00

So I want to talk about Improv, but it's difficult at 11:01 as I watch the 2nd helping of overtime for my red wings. I still can not get over that shot from Pittsburgh at 34 seconds left. I must say....if I was a fan I woulda been shitting everywhere..and yelling...and jumping. But instead I am literally CRINGING.

Double Overtime is Double Bullshit.

HOWEVER.

Being a part of the W.I.M.P was an incredible experiance. I'm still feelin it. I was proud of myself. And after much trepidation, I made my debut as an improviser.
I performed with a fever and with the worst nervousness of my life. I couldn't have done it without the unreal support of my troupe, Shop Class.
Seriously such a great dynamic to be a part of. Supportive, fun, creative, and united. I feel so lucky to be a part of a group that acts as Improvisers should. About creating something together, not about egos and bullshit and looking cool or funny. Shop Class really is about making the 'group' look good. Helping each player. A team. "I have your back and you have mine." Truly believing this made me feel fearless as soon as we stepped on stage.

I'm so blessed to have shared my first experiance with such great people. I'm very excited to see what happens next.

I heart Improv.

I wish things were like that in all parts of my life. I'm glad to get away from comedy for a bit. Take a break from some places and some people. I need some time for myself, to breathe and think. Sometimes I feel like I take a step forward, and then someone else takes 5 steps back. Sometimes I wish everything wasn't so complicated. That things could be simple and pure and just be.

For more arty bullshit, visit my blog again.

Thanks.

CDL

Detroit Rock City

2008-05-26T07:37:00.000-07:00

I had a really great weekend.

Actually hit up a patio on Friday nite (i had no idea where to go)
We drank Sangria. Sangria is boss.

My brother Steve called on Saturday at 2am to inform me that I am an Auntie again.
He and Kelly had a boy, his name is Scott. He has brown hair and according to my brother he looks like a martian right now. As amusing as it was to think of Steve in a house of 4 girls. I think it's sweet they had a boy. Those girls are going to torment him, but also protect him. Hearing the news really makes me miss home, miss my family. I want to meet this new addition. I like them at this age, they just sleep on you like a cat. I can't believe Steve is the father of 3 kids, and he still plans on going to a Nine Inch Nails concert in July. Yikes.

Detroit rocked it on Saturday. 4-0 against those lil fatty birds. I love seeing so many people jump on the Pittsburgh band wagon. I admire those loyal fans for following a shitty team, they deserve to be excited. And hey at least they made it to the finals, that's something. It's not the Stanley Cup, but it's something.
Zetterberg is so fierce.

Sunday Night I met with the cast for my fringe play. We had our first read through.
I was so excited. We had a great laugh going through our lines. The cast seem like a very cool group of people. The character I play - Josie, is a sexy single that all of the guys at the party want to fuck. I know it's a bit of a stretch from my real life, but I will work hard to get the part right.

Last Improv Class tonight with Ryan McMahon's "workshop" it's been a stellar experiance and I'm sad to see it end - I'm just starting to feel a strong connection with my players. Hopefully if all goes well with his classes in the fall - I will see them again. There is still the big Improv Party (W.I.M.P) on saturday as well.

Comedy Loser tomorrow at the Kingshead - I'm nervous and stoked.

Thanks,

CDL

Improv is Fierce.

2008-05-23T08:21:00.000-07:00

Less than a year ago I never thought I could truly appreciate let alone L word Improv. If you would have told me I would be finishing up my 3rd improv class, and performing for my first time in the upcoming W.I.M.P.(Winnipeg Improv Mega Party)(Details Below) I would have laughed and said FAT CHANCE.

It's not that I didn't like Improv it's just that it scared me. I guess I always wished I could be the type of person who could do it - but just doubted myself.
Even after studying and working my ass off in classes - I usually still feel like I'm not quite at the level of my very talented fellow players.

But once in awhile, after one scene, or one character, or just one line that comes from me...I feel like I can do it, that I am doing it. I feel like an improviser, an artist, and a performer. It's rare, but when it happens - it's awesome.

As I start to understand the process and work of ones brain in such an amazing art form, i find myself exhausted after just WATCHING a show. I just think "your brains must fucking feel like pudding".

I read that there was once an experiment in which a group of people took an I.Q. test, then did an hour of improv before taking the same level of I.Q. test, and the second test scores were significantly higher than the first. I'm fascinated.

The thought of studying at Second City or UCB give me such a comedy hard on. I know it's a bit far fetched, but I believe anything is possible. Again ask me a year ago if I would become a huge improv nerd and I would have thought you were crazier than all 27 of Britney's personalities.

Honestly I couldn't have done any of this, without the support of some very awesome people and amazing teachers. I feel very lucky.

The future's so bright. I gotta wear shades.

W.I.M.P Details
For one night (Saturday, May 31), an orgy of Winnipeg Improv will be happening. The night will feature a ton of different styles of improv as well as a number of troupes and teams that will be displaying their own improv stylee for all to see.

Everything begins at 8PM. Tickets are $10 and they get you into ALL of the shows. The WIMP is being held at the Urban Shaman Gallery (290 McDermot, Unit 203).

*We have some surprises, prizes, gifts, and much more in store.
Visit www.moosegutslive.com and click on The WIMP to find out more detailed information.
Or contact ryan@moosegutslive.com

Thanks

CDL

Something To Read While You Eat Your Cereal

2008-05-21T06:24:00.000-07:00

Took my younger brother to The Hives last night. One of the greatest experiances - so glad he was there for it. Especially living up in isolation. I feel lucky to live in Winnipeg. The music scene is taking off and I'm constantly being surprised at the acts that have started to tour here.

I'm so deaf today, I feel like my Dad.

We were lucky enough and nerdy enough to wait forever to end up in front row. There's something about having Howlin-Pelle Almqvist's sweat on me that makes me not want to ever take a shower again.

Not that it really affected Jamie and I, but more so other people that had been waiting outside the concert for 2 hours - but i sincerely hate assholes that cut in line. Just watching these sophomoric little bitch princesses have conversations with their friends at the front of this huge line..and weasel themselves in eventually made me think they are better at cutting than an emo kid after a school dance.

Almost everyday when I read the paper I find some ridiculous quote from down south about Obama. Being from Flin Flon, I find I'm less shocked at the ignorance that stews from small communities.
Sadly - there is a part of me that desperately wants to be in some small town in Georgia on Election Day, to witness a Democrat with a pea sized brain influenced only by his racist/sexist soul - review his candidate choices.

"OKAY Sir, so you're first candidate option is Hilary Clinton."
"Hilary whaa now - no no I ain't voting for no woman NEXT"
"Okay then we also have Obama"
"The black fella...with all do respect sir there is just no way in hell..Next"
"Well that is all of the candidates sir"
"ahh fuck"

I think it would be so hilarious and simultaneously depressing as fuck.

Writing lots, need sleep. Going to miss my bro.
The Hives are fucking fierce.

thanks,

CDL

Comedy Thus Far

2008-05-17T10:03:00.000-07:00

After a year and a half on this crazy comedy train. I'm finally starting to feel good about my performances. I'm still a shaking mess before I get on. But I think the change happened when I started to take risks - Rather than keep doing the safe jokes, that I've done a hundred times I'm trying new material, and I'm writing jokes that I THINK are funny.

George Carlin described how there are 2 types of comics. There is the comic that tries to relate to the audience, and there's the comic that the audience tries to relate to.

I was trying so hard to do the first person. Which never works. When I dedicated myself to what I believe is funny and sold it - in a way that said: I think this is funny...if you don't I don't give a shit, I had the best 2 sets of my life. Best 10 minutes of my life.
What a high, I honestly don't understand why people do drugs.

Even though the summer season slows down Comedy..I'm still very excited to write and work when I can.

I am performing in a play at the Winnipeg Fringe. I'm excited to dust off my acting boots. And to be a part of the Fringe, which I didn't think I was going to be this year.

I heart Wilco.

Thanks,

CDL